


SOS

by thatsmistertoyou



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Dan is clumsy and cute, M/M, Meet-Cute, Phil tries, diner au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-23 06:46:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9644978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsmistertoyou/pseuds/thatsmistertoyou
Summary: Dan’s actual job is working at Louise’s diner, but he could make a career out of saving cute dark-haired strangers from dates with assholes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the ever-wonderful @philslesters for her help with this. It’s about damn time I plucked up the courage to post 1k of fluff. This is my first time doing PLP and it was a lot of fun :)

“I understand why people do it, but the business side just doesn’t work, Phil,” the asshole at table four explains, and Dan’s a bit miffed for having missed that much of the conversation. He has no idea what Jerkface is on about.

“More Coke?” Dan asks Blue Eyes - or Phil, assuming Dingbat has his name right.

“Yes, please,” he says with a smile, then turns back to Twathead. “It’s really not meant to follow a business model. Businesses aim to make money; we aim to provide service.”

Dan raises his eyebrows at his manager Louise as he walks away, Phil’s glass in hand.

“They’re on a date and it’s going poorly?” she guesses.

“Yup, and blonde dude is insufferable. From what I can gather, he’s talking about how charities don’t work. He’s also barely acknowledged me even though I’ve been very attentive. Mostly ‘cause I want to stay updated on this mess.”

“And you think the dark-haired one is cute.”

“Am I that transparent?”

“As a ghost, my dear,” she says, patting Dan on the shoulder. “Get the poor boy some more Coke.”

“On it.”

“I’m going to go ‘do some paperwork’ at table six so I can get the scoop,” she says, giving a dramatic wink in lieu of air-quotes.

“Professionals at work, we are.”

By the time Dan’s returned to the table, the conversation has shifted entirely. Hard to imagine having a nice conversation with someone who talks this much.

“I really like baking, but the stuff I make only comes out edible about half the time,” Phil says, twirling a straw wrapper around his finger. “Thank you,” he smiles when Dan places his drink down, “Dan,” he continues, reading Dan’s name tag. So this is why they wear these things.  

Dan reluctantly goes to table six and sits across from Louise, chin propped up on one elbow.

“I make the best pumpkin pie, you know. My whole family demands I bring it every Christmas.” Dudeman’s loud comment is enough to bring them both up to speed.

Dan rolls his eyes and Louise nods, her expression lingering somewhere between strained and bemused.

“You should probably make it look like I have a reason to be over here,” Dan says.

Louise flips to the binder in front of her and plucks a blank sheet of paper from the pocket, poising the pen over it and cocking her head to the side. Dan listens.

“Yeah, my mum had to explain that ovens didn’t contain tiny dragons that ate and then poo’ed out your food to cook it, like my brother told me,” Phil says, and Asshat doesn’t laugh. Dan assumes it’s Phil who clears his throat. “Do you have any siblings?”

“The one time Phil can get a word in, dude doesn’t even respond. The fuck,” he says quietly.

“How d’you know his name?”

“Heard Twatface call him that.”

Louise smiles mischievously, sliding the piece of paper towards Dan.

Save the cute one and take the rest of the night off xx

“What? How am I supposed to do that?”

She raises her eyebrows and makes an obscure waving motion with her hand. Dan just stares.

“Maybe Mr. Businessman needs less Coke.”

Dan inhales sharply and nods. Louise is either the best or worst boss ever.

Tom, the cook, is unperturbed by Dan’s grumpiness and apparent anxiety. Dan grabs the food and heads back out to table four, steeling himself.

Dan pays no mind to whatever Asshat is prattling on about and gleefully interrupts.

“One stack of American pancakes, butter and maple syrup on the side,” Dan says, placing the dish in front of Phil. His face lights up like goddamn Christmas morning.

“One almond chicken salad, cherry tomatoes diced, both ranch and vinaigrette on the side.” Snooty almost looks impressed that his annoyingly specific order was fulfilled.

“Can I get you some more -” Dan reaches for Jerk’s glass, and very obviously tips it over. Coke spills onto the table, his lap, and the floor. This would happen to Dan completely on accident, and it absolutely has. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

Prince of Dramatics scoffs loudly.

“Oh - I’m so sorry -” Dan says, completely monotone. He grabs a fistful of napkins from his apron pocket and places them on the table to soak up the soda.

“It’s okay, Ryan,” Phil says placatingly, throwing his own napkin into the soggy pile.

“There’s plenty of paper towels in the restroom if you want to -” Dan continues, and Ryan stands up.

“Just perfect,” he mutters. He scrapes the chair loudly against the tile and storms off to the bathroom. Dan’s stomach falls out of his ass. This was stupid.

“Sorry,” he says to Phil, rushing to the bar and back to grab more napkins.

“It happens,” Phil says, kneeling down to help Dan mop up the floor.

“No, you don’t have to -”

Phil gently takes some towels from Dan with a soft smile. “It’s okay. Between you and me, this is a good summary of my night.”

“I couldn’t help but notice,” Dan replies. Most of the carnage taken care of, they both stand and Phil takes his seat. Dan hesitates, but  Phil’s looking at him over the rim of his glasses, and that does it. He hastily wipes down the other chair and sits.

“This is incredibly forward and rude of me but, would you want to get out of here before he comes back? You seem nice and nobody deserves a date like this.”

Phil’s eyes widen and his jaw goes a bit slack. “A date? Oh, no, this was a sort of - job interview? I talked to Ryan’s boss on the phone and she told him to meet up with me and seal the deal.”

“Oh. OH. Oh my god, I’m so -”

“But,” Phil interjects, leaning forward. “I don’t want to work for them anyway. Who runs a for-profit animal shelter?” Phil rolls his eyes. “So if you’re offering a date, then I’d be up for it.”

“I have a dog,” Dan replies, dumbfounded. “And I’m free if you are. Right now. I’ll pay for your meal. This one and another one. You like pancakes?”

“Yes,” Phil replies, laughing. “Do you?”

“I love pancakes. And making a fool of myself.” He glances over at Louise, who gives him a big smile and a thumbs up. “And my boss. Let’s go.”


End file.
